Hard to Kill

Directed by Bruce Malmuth. Written by Steven McKay. Starring Steven Seagal (Mason Storm), Kelly LeBrock (Andy Stewart) and William Sadler (Senator Vernon Trent)

Bottom Line: This is a slow, drawn-out ordeal of a movie with no action or dialogue or plot to help. I don't even recommend it as a popcorn movie.
1/4

What is the first thing that comes to mind when I think about Hard to Kill? Actually, the only thing that comes out is a sigh of disappointment. In the first hour of this hour and a half long movie, there were two short fight scenes. The rest of the time was spent trying to make a deep story.

Other than simply saying that this was a boring, let me tell you a bit more about the movie. Seagal is a cop, Mason Storm (what a name!) who was on the trail of a big drug deal. He video tapes a meeting between the criminals. They get wind of the surveillance tape and try to kill Storm, his wife and son. Unfortunately for them, Storm is...hard to kill. He does go into a coma for 7 years (during which time the younger-than-his-dead-wife nurse, Andy (LeBrock) falls in love with him) and wakes up in 1990.

There is a gripping chase scene where Seagal tries to escape a hit man after waking from his coma. After seven years, his leg muscles have atrophied so he has to push his way around on a hospital bed. He is rescued by that nurse who nurses him back to health. After what seems like an eternity, he regains enough strength to do a training montage.

Now that Storm is back to his youthful strength he's ready to kill all the bad guys, oh yeah, and be reunited with his son...but more importantly kill all the bad guys!

By the end of the movie, I wonder how successful a family the Storms will be. Sonny Storm (the son) saw his parents killed with he was young and, years later, watches as another father figure is killed all the while his actual father is killing a dozen men with his bare hands. Andy is introduced wearing three buttons: a kitten, "We Try Harder" and, "The 'F' Word" crossed out in red. With regard to that last button, Seagal says to one of the villains "That's for my wife. Fuck you and die," before stabbing the guy in the neck with a broken pool cue. That's the recipe for a stable healthy family.

There is so much time and energy spent trying to develop the story which can be boiled down to: Criminals killed Cop's family, Cop gets revenge.

Overall because of the lame story, stupid dialogue, and lack of action, I don't recommend Hard to Kill. If there were more lines like "I'm going to take you to the bank...the blood bank", then it could be kinda fun as a joke.