R.I.P.D.

Directed by Robert Schwentke. Written by Phil Hay, Matt Manfredi, David Dobkin and Peter M. Lenkov (based on the comic by). Starring Jeff Bridges (Roy), Ryan Reynolds (Nick), Kevin Bacon (Hayes).

Bottom line: It has been a long time since a movie very nearly ruined my day...

.5/4

Whenever a person dies their spirit goes up to “judgement”. Those who refuse to pass on are called “Deados”. The Rest In Peace Department (the RIPD) consisting of the greatest lawmen in history is in charge of capturing deados. Boston Police Officer Nick (Reynolds) stole some gold with his partner who then kills him yadda yadda yadda Nick discovers that the gold he stole was part of a relic which will bring all of the dead spirits back to earth.

The only reason I didn’t leave the theater was that Jeff Bridges was in this movie; I ignored his acting and thought of the good times I’ve spent watching Jeff Bridges in Tron, Big Lebowski, True Grit, and even Thunderbolt and Lightfoot.

There was a surprising amount of profanity in this movie. I wasn’t offended or anything but there didn’t see a point. RIPD is like someone who just speaks just because they are bored (and swears because they feel like it makes them sound mature). After a lackluster car chase, Bridges yells, “That scared the shit out of me!” Good for you, Mr. Bridges, because I’m not feeling anything. Reynolds he doesn’t even respond. I am all for profanity, assuming of course, it serves a purpose. Take a look at Django Unchained or Menace II Society; the colorful language is there to develop the film world. Have you ever heard a child who has just learned his or her first swear words? He or she (in my experiences, he) uses the word/s like punctuation. That’s the vibe I get from R.I.P.D.

I can’t even continue writing this because it forces me think about this awful movie. This is a painful, bad, bad, horrible waste of time. Sometimes it can be fun to watch a bad movie, but that is no reason to see R.I.P.D. Watch Sharknado if you want to watch a bad movie. Though, I haven’t seen Sharknado, it must be better than R.I.P.D.. Before I end this brief post, I want to think about why, in particular, I disliked this so much and, when push comes to shove, I think, it comes from the fact that my expectations were too high. It’s hard to believe. I didn’t expect much but I think that’s part of the problem. I expected something.

So, I guess, R.I.P.D. can (and should) be turned into a learning experience; when you are going into a movie, good or bad, don’t expect anything and, more importantly, if I am in the mood for something (like an action movie) or an actor (like Jeff Bridges) see something that is worth my time. It’s just like food. If you are in the mood for a burger, eat a good burger. You aren’t going to be yourself any favors by eating a lame, frozen, microwavable one. You just ate an unhealthy food and you’ll still be in the mood for a burger. Instead of going to see R.I.P.D. because I like Jeff Bridges, I should’ve just seen a good Jeff Bridges movie. In closing, was R.I.P.D. all that bad? Yes, but at least the ordeal taught me something so it wasn’t for nothing.